Surviving

I have been sitting here the past few days, doing a lot of thinking. Due to the years with having cancer and the type I have. We took risks to get to a better point.
I have to think at times the benefits were great in the risk. But in so many ways blessings were incredible.
Some how taking that risk meant taking control in my fight against my own cancer. That made me a survivor not a number. I dug up lots of facts and went back and bugged my doctors. I realized early on that there are doctors who care and those who do not. I also learned it was easy to move on to ones cared to, to obtain proper care which I so rightly deserved.
Cancer for me was a life and death experience.My cancer and type this was potentially fatal that forced me to take the bull by the horns and take control of whatever I could in my situation.
This thing that hit me in the gut was life changing.So much to learn about it. Its been just about 11 yrs since I saw my first surgeon to talk about the mass on the left side of my face. I continue to this day to research and stay on top of things pertaining to it.
What kills me is that in this country people spend more time researching what kind of care they want to drive not health care. There are still people to day with cancer that do not want to know about it or its treatment. Lets just do it, I trust you and get it done. Not me I want to know everything going in my body and the aspects of what it could possibly do to me.
I encourage any one with cancer or a loved one with it to learn the terms, learn all you can about whats going on with what ever cancer you have. Ask questions, you pay to have them answered as well as asking about what options are out there. Know them learn about them.
Sometimes I sit here and am in awe of the struggles that came with it. This is a personal account of a life and death experience. At times you fight so hard you learn your not alone in the fight. Sometimes you wonder is it all worth it the fight. When your that sick so many things go through your head and heart.
Epilogue....
Laura Landro, in her book, Survivor. Is right. *Returning to your regular world after surviving cancer is much like reentering earth's atmosphere from space. It takes a period of adjustment before you can resume normal life,and your journey has opened your eyes to things most of the people you encounter will never really understand unless they have been there.*
She is right on the money with that. There are times now we relax and times we don't cancer is like that . Having it barge into your life like a speeding freight train. Then you are stable and things change some what. But I don't think you ever really relax totally.
This month I have stayed in contact with my Oncologist due to some long term effects going on. You have to understand I have been seeing him since 2002 so its a long term doc patient thing but after a while you get to know the person under the white coat. There are life stories exchanged and we laugh. And yes I have cried to at times. But all and all..
I am not sure I will ever totally relax health wise again. But I will be grateful for the knowledge and caring people who got me to this point. As well as God's guidence on all of it.
I have this third chance at life...yup you read that right. I plan on being vigilant about protecting what I have been given. The fear about it never goes away some say.
but with being vigilant that helps me.
One thing we have learned its okay to really enjoy the gifts I have been given. Even with set backs life is good. Its okay to feel it all. Something I would of never taken the time to do before cancer.
Life truly does go on even with cancer in it. I am so thankful for realizing that early on.