Roses , Thorns and No Regrets.

Life is funny we always are told to *Stop and smell the Roses! Not a bad thing. Moving in to my second decade of cancer again I am a caregiver as well as the patient. Some how I understand how it is to be so sick and need help. I am blindsided by the thorns of how others could careless about the sick or those are healing from life altering surgeries.
Last week my Mom had her second knee replacement she is 79 and she has so many other health issues that they all play in to the issues of surgery.
My Dad is 81 and pretty healthy but still he is elderly and needs help.
Last week was a horrible week for them. It was one that I realized its just me as their caregiver and that's okay. Having to deal with my own health issues I was really struggling to.
My one sister came in for the surgery. She has her own health issues and never returned till Sunday when Mom was admitted again for further problems. My sisters words were very harsh for my Dad and I. Harsh words stuck like thorns.
My Dad called me due to living close by stating he was taking Mom back to the Er due to swelling and pain level being to high. He did not call my sister and she was so angry with him. Finding out he called me she couldn't handle that. What made her more angry is that he waited to call her and I felt that Dad needed me as a sounding board through the early hours so I told him to call if he needed to talk and he did.
But also told me to *Lay low and he would let me know when Mom was admitted* Which he did. I went later on Sunday after a few hours of rest.
Mom was sicker then a dog. They had given her a low dose of Morphine for the pain but the residual side effects for her was vomiting and diarrhea. Not being able to get outta bed at all. This meant bed pans and basins. The staff was great but very busy so I helped Mom as much as I could. At one point. She said in tears. * Your always right here for me and never complain.* I can't what would I do with out my Mom who was always with me no matter what.
Shortly after that Mom fell in to deep sleep .One that was much needed. For several hours. Shortly after that my Son came in and stayed and Hubby and I left.
Shortly after that my Sister strolled in complaining about not calling her earlier and slamming Dad as well. My Son let her have it. She has no idea what last week was like or any other of my Mom's surgeries in the last 10 years have been like. She was not here.
Later that night. My sister and her husband drove past my house and he got outta of the car with a single rose and an nasty note stuck in it. I couldn't believe you would throw a rose between the doors and then leave it with there. I noticed on the stem it was filled with thorns. As I grabbed it I felt one pierce my finger. Reading the note felt worse then thorns.
Then yesterday I got an email Thanking me for what I do...I was like What The Hell?
Written words can't be taken back. How do you thank someone after nasty words said in letter form.
Care giving to me is one of the most precious gifts we give to each other. I have cried a lot of tears the past few days. I don't think my sister will ever understand the hurt she has caused Mom ,Dad or me for that matter.
In life there are so many roses. I've always been close to Mom and she to me. So no regrets.Time spent with my parents has always been a blessing. Sure we have our moments but work things out always.
Just that life is so horribly short. Watching some waste it makes me just sad.
i just know that one day I will have no regrets when others will.

I'm off to smell the rose. Seize the Day. Kerry