Today I ran across twelve old vials of Leukine (sargramostim) is a recombinant human granulocyte-macrophage colony-stimulating factor. Which was the study drug used along with the FDA approved drug named Rituxan. My magic bullet to becoming stable.

Why I never threw away the vials I don't know. Maybe because the two drugs together did give me a good stable situation with the lymphoma. It can't be cured so stable is where I wanted to be.Praying my bio chem panel of blood work still is good. Waiting on that.
The past few days I have felt very fatigued and lots of problems again with my joints. All limb related. I have been really cranky I admit it. Mainly because the my hip ,knee and ankles where I know I have ostero penic issues and thats the pre cursor to osteo athritis. As well as the up and down Michigan weather panterns I have been miserable the past week. I have meds so making sure to keep up with them but debating that we might need a change up to deal with the pain issue. Least at this point its not osteo prosis and I have ran the route of un explained fractures to so that is no fun.

It kinda brings me to this. Yes I am stable but no cure. I am lucky a heck with stage 4 to be stable and for whatever reason, I have felt so blessed no matter how crappy I feel some days. I always wonder what if there was no research and no trial drugs. I wouldn't be here. So maybe keeping the vials reminds me of the journey back to stable. On a day like today. I really shouldn't complain besides who wants to listen any ways.:)